My Enormous Crystal Balls: NHL '10

By Hockey Guru and TD O'Dell


As is our custom, the Guru and I have each submitted our itemized predictions for the upcoming hockey season. This year, not only did we each try to guess the exact order of the final standings, but in these waning days of the Summer of '09, I will also attempt to predict the outcome of every playoff series in the Spring/Summer of 2010.

You may recall that we had updated our playoff predictions back in April, so look for us to make some more informed picks next Spring. Think of these playoff picks as my long-term forecast, which is always less accurate, but more revealing of my personal biases.

But before we get to who I think will win the Cup, let's take a look at my regular season predictions:

---

2010 Final Standings


Eastern Conference

1. Montreal
2. Pittsburgh
3. Washington
4. New York Rangers
5. Boston
6. Ottawa
7. Carolina
8. Philadelphia
9. New Jersey
10. Buffalo
11. Toronto
12. Tampa Bay
13. New York Islanders
14. Atlanta
15. Florida


Western Conference

1. San Jose
2. Chicago
3. Calgary
4. Detroit
5. Anaheim
6. Vancouver
7. Minnesota
8. Los Angeles
9. Nashville
10. Dallas
11. Columbus
12. St. Louis
13. Edmonton
14. Phoenix
15. Colorado

And with that, I'll hand the mic over to the Guru.

---

Thanks, TD. I won't be making my playoff picks yet, but I will see your regular season picks and raise you some maths.

In an attempt to put a twist on the pre-season prognostications, the Guru is assigning percentages as far as likelihood of making the playoffs. Since 8 teams make the playoffs in each conference, the total percentage allocated = 800% (i.e. 8 "locks" = 8 teams at 100% each)


Eastern Conference

Philadelphia Flyers: 100%
Pittsburgh Penguins: 99%
Washington Capitals: 98%
Boston Bruins: 80%
Tampa Bay Lightning: 52%
Florida Panthers: 51%
New Jersey Devils: 47%
Buffalo Sabres: 45%

Carolina Hurricanes: 44%
New York Rangers: 39%
Toronto Maple Leafs: 38%
Ottawa Senators: 35%
Atlanta Thrashers: 27%
Montreal Canadiens: 25%
New York Islanders: 20%


Western Conference

San Jose Sharks 100%
Detroit Red Wings 99%
Vancouver Canucks: 95%
Chicago Blackhawks: 90%
Calgary Flames: 85%
Anaheim Ducks: 70%
Columbus Bluejackets: 60%
St. Louis Blues: 56%

Los Angeles Kings: 40%
Phoenix Coyotes: 33%
Minnesota Wild: 26%
Edmonton Oilers: 25%
Nashville Predators: 16%
Dallas Stars: 5%
Colorado Avalanche: 0%

Not sure if this is even interesting to me, after completing it, but I'm going to post it in case anybody finds this remotely interesting and perhaps some discussion can ensue in the Comments section.

Obviously I'm not too high on Dallas this year (to say nothing of Colorado). But the point I think I'm making is that in today's NHL there aren't a lot of surprises. Only a few teams missing the playoffs would really shock me and reasonable arguments can be made for pretty much every team that they will be in the playoffs this year.

Injuries will definitely play a part.

If a couple teams rank way higher or lower than you expect, drop me a line and we'll break it down, Ottawa Hockey League style. Back to you, TD.

---

Thanks, Guru.

Damn, I wish I had thought of that. I loves me some maths. Oh well. I'll steal that idea for baseball season. Meanwhile, here are my playoff predictions, as promised:


Conference Quarterfinals

(8) Phi def. (1) Mtl
(7) Car def. (2) Pit
(6) Otw def. (3) Wsh
(4) NYR def. (5) Bos

(1) SJ def. (8) LA
(2) Chi def. (7) Min
(6) Vcr def. (3) Cal
(5) Anh def. (4) Det


Conference Semifinals

(8) Phi def. (4) NYR
(6) Otw def. (7) Car

(6) Vcr def. (1) SJ
(2) Chi def. (5) Anh


Conference Finals

(6) Otw def. (8) Phi
(2) Chi def. (6) Vcr


And the Stanley Cup Finals will be over in 5 games, with the Hawks ending the league's longest drought (which will seem far less impressive when the Cubs win the World Series four months later).

---

---

My Enormous Crystal Balls: Review

Got a note this morning concerning this dormant site and the current hockey series.

I hadn't expected to post here anymore, but to give the Guru more visibility for his newest thoughts on the playoffs, the least I could do is provide this link to bump his comments to the top of all of the wreckage that my flawed basketball pool became.

Re-reading the old predictions now is plenty fun, but scroll down to the bottom of that link for the Guru's latest mental ruminations. (Not that kind of mental)

Check back shortly, and I'll properly bump his newest column to the top of the page.

---

---

My Enormous Crystal Balls: NHL '09

by Hockey Guru, Will-he-M and TD O'Dell


A couple of weeks ago, a few of us posted our predictions for this year's NHL playoffs.

I transferred those original paragraphs (which were first posted on the Hockey League's message board on April 12th), to the Baseball League's message board on April 13th (Msg # 211, 212, 213 & 214).

A short time later, I repackaged them and put them up here and here.

The problem was, I had omitted everyone's picks beyond Round 1 on both the Baseball League's Message Board, and on this site. My intention was to put them up a week ago, but I never got around to it. Anyhow, as long as we all witnessed the Opening Round picks, I don't see how a week's delay takes anything away from posting this now.

---

Hockey Guru

Conference Semi-Finals

So....round two matchups....hmmmm....

So....the Montreal Canadiens versus the Washington Capitals....hmmmm....Montreal?

Philly? Carolina? Uhhhh....PHILLY!! [to be read using the voice of South Park's Timmy!]

Chicago visits San Jose, now here's a series I can write about. San Jose has been in Chicago's position before and come up short, but this time they feel they are ready. San Jose, however, is wrong in thinking that losing many, many playoff series makes a team better - it doesn't, it only makes you older. Chicago pulls off the upset to reach the Western Conference Finals.

Vancouver at Detroit is another good one. The safe bet is to say that Detroit is Detroit, and will always find a way to win. I really can't see Vancouver going much further, but Vancouver does win this series.


Conference Finals

Philly? Montreal? Uhhhh....PHILLY!! [c'mon, you knew that was gonna be the pick]

Chicago goes up to Vancouver. Chicago is crazy and the Bulin Wall is rebuilt. The Swedish attack on the Wall won't bring it down, and Chicago gets to the Finals.


Stanley Cup Finals

Blah, blah, blah....I really can't see a Chicago / Philly Finals, but whatever. I am going to bet Philly to win the Cup (the odds should be pretty good).

			Hockey Guru
Boston						San Jose
	Montreal				San Jose
Montreal						Anaheim
		Montreal		Chicago
			Chicago
Washington						Chicago
	Washington				Chicago
New York						Calgary
			Cup Champs
			Philadelphia
New Jersey						Detroit
	Carolina				Detroit
Carolina						Columbus
			Philadelphia
		Philadelphia		Vancouver
Pittsburgh						Vancouver
	Philadelphia				Vancouver
Phildelphia						St.Louis
			April 12, 2009

Will-he-M

Conference Semi-Finals

Caps vs Habs: The Habs have better depth on defence and in goal. Ovechkin and Semin haven't played in the high pressure zone that is Montreal. They'll be hard pressed to perform in this series. Prediction: Habs in 6

Pens vs Canes: I'm not liking this series. Too many unpredictable elements involved. On one hand, you have two NHL superstars who lead a team that isn't as good as last year's Finalists, yet shouldn't be taken too lightly. On the other hand, you have a team made up of a mix of rising stars, misfits and aging veterans. In my honest opinion, this series will be determined by how the secondary scoring holds up. I'm not sold on Kunitz and Guerin. Prediction: Canes in 7

San Jose vs Columbus: This match up will be another solid series. Two very talented teams. Prediction: Sharks in 6

Chicago vs St.Louis: The Blues will definitely bow out to the superior Hawks' attack. I will be looking forward to this series. Prediction: Hawks in 6


Conference Finals

Canes vs Habs: I don't like my Habs playing the Canes here, for a simple reason: his name is Erik Cole. He is the new John LeClair - a Habs-killer. He owns the Habs, which is why I was praying that the Bruins wouldn't get him at the deadline. However, the Habs have been battling adversity all season. At one point, they didn't have Alex Tanguay, Carey Price, Robert Lang and Saku Koivu for an entire month long stretch and they still made the playoffs. I know it in my heart, that they'll beat the Canes here. And unlike my friend, the Hockey Guru, I follow my heart instead of my head. Prediction: Habs in 6

San Jose vs Chicago: The Hawks will be in tough. This will be the series that proves whether or not the Sharks are true Cup contenders. Personally, I'd like to think the Sharks can compete but for some reason I have this nagging feeling Brian Campbell is going to earn his high end salary in this series. Prediction: Hawks in 7


Stanley Cup Finals

Chicago Blackhawks vs Montreal Canadiens: My dream Cup Final. An Original Six matchup for the first time since the Habs / Rangers Final in '79. Two of the brightest young forwards in the NHL against the brightest young goalie in the world. I will be looking forward to this come May / June. Prediction: I gotta go with the name of every fantasy team I created this year. Your 2009 Cup Champions and 25-time Cup winners. LES CANADIENS DE MONTREAL.

			Will-he-M
Boston						San Jose
	Montreal				San Jose
Montreal						Anaheim
		Montreal		San Jose
			Montreal
Washington						Detroit
	Washington				Columbus
New York						Columbus
			Cup Champs
			Montreal
New Jersey						Calgary
	Carolina				Chicago
Carolina						Chicago
			Chicago
		Carolina		Chicago
Pittsburgh						Vancouver
	Pittsburgh				St.Louis
Phildelphia						St.Louis
			April 12, 2009

TD O'Dell

Conference Semi-Finals

Mr. Gainey goes to Washington. The feel-good story of an idealist whose perception of reality is challenged when he is confronted with the well-oiled D.C. machine that is Capitals hockey (OK, so not so much a feel-good story, as a Shakespearean tragedy). Prediction: Washington in 5 games.

If I were to somehow continue in this vein, and relate the other three series' to classic films, I'd compare the Pens going to Jersey to a variation on Goodfellas, but with the opening title sequence from the Sopranos:

[cut to Sidney Crosby climbing into his Cadillac Escalade SUV for the long drive into New Jersey]

You woke up this morning
Got yourself some gum
Mama always said you'd be
The Chosen One

She said you're one in a million
You've got to skate to shine
But you were born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes

You woke up this morning
This work is so much fun
Your Papa never told you
About how to get it done

But you're looking good baby
I believe you're feeling fine (shame about it)
Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes

You woke up this morning
The world turned upside down
Thing's ain't been the same
Since the Blues walked into town

But you're one in a million
You've got that shotgun shine
Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes

Woke up this morning
Got yourself some gum
Got yourself some gum [end opening credits]



[cut to montage, with voice-over narration by Penguins co-owner, Ron Burkle]

"Man, back then, we lived like kings. These are the guys Craig Patrick put together for what turned out to be the biggest heist in American history - the Sidney Crosby draft lottery.

Tommy and Carbone would grab the guard and make him get us in the front door.

Young Frenchy and Jon "Buddha" Sim had to round up the workers.

Johnny Roastbeef had to keep them tied up and away from the alarms.

Even Brooks Orpik got in on it. He used to play guitar at the lounge. Everybody loved Brooks. Anyway, he was supposed to steal the van and afterwards compact it by a friend of ours in Jersey.

Everything was going along fine, only Mario was driving us nuts. Just because he set this up, he bugged Craig for an advance on the money we would later earn. He didn't mean anything by it. That's just the way he was.

I had everyone working for me. Even one of my old B-boys, from when I managed the Fat Boys, got in on the action."

[cut to Int. Burkle household, as P Diddy is retrieving compromising photos of Bettman, hidden in his portable baby carseat]

Burkle: "Have a good flight?"

P Diddy: "I hate Pittsburgh. Where'd you find such creeps?"

Burkle: "They're not that bad. And it's worth it. Is this the same baby
you used last week?"

P Diddy: "No, that was my sister's. This is Deirdra's."

Burkle: "She looks like you."

P Diddy: "That's what the stewardess said."

[camera pans over 8 X 10 glossy of a leather-clad Bettman and Bill Daly, in an unflattering S&M pose]
[fade to white, with The Rolling Stones' Starfucker playing over top of closing credits]

Ummmm....what was I talking about, again? Oh yeah, hockey. Prediction: Penguins in 6 games.

Columbus voyages west, into Shark-infested territory. I guess this was a movie, also. Meh. Suffice it to say, Nash bridges the gap between those old crummy BJ's that I was used to, and this new sensation. Too bad no man can achieve BJ success on his own. Prediction: Sharks in 5 games.

The Hawks take flight for more Northerly climes, heading towards Vancouver. This peculiar 7-year migration cycle has many Illinois birders recalling the last truly great event from 14 years ago. Unfortunately, this year's edition is lacking in the 150-point man department, which is what it would take to solve Luongo often enough. Prediction: Canucks in 5 games.


Conference Finals

The storylines have all been written already for the tag-team showdown between Sid and Geno, and Ovie and Semin. The inevitable comparisons will be drawn to the recently eliminated Patrick Kane. The pre-ASG feud will reignite between the future Team Russia linemates. The duelling banjo accusations of diving and showboating will fly.

Or maybe the guys will simply choose to march to the beat of a different drummer.

Either way, this will possibly become the most anticipated series since a young Gretzky took on the powerhouse Islanders. Prediction: Pittsburgh in 6 games.

Is the Canucks' season headed into the Tank? I'd bet on it. Almost as confidently as I would bet on Vancouver prevailing. Prediction: Nucks in 6 games.

Conference Finals

Flightless birds sighted on the B.C. coast. Further proof of the effects of global climate change? No. Just another ending to a long, disappointing season for the Pens. Prediction: Vancouver in 6 games.

			TD O'Dell
Boston						Vancouver
	Montreal				Vancouver
Montreal						St.Louis
		Montreal		Vancouver
			Vancouver
Washington						Chicago
	Washington				Chicago
New York						Calgary
			Cup Champs
			Vancouver
New Jersey						San Jose
	New Jersey				San Jose
Carolina						Anaheim
			Pittsburgh
		Pittsburgh		San Jose
Pittsburgh						Detroit
	Pittsburgh				Columbus
Phildelphia						Columbus
			April 12, 2009

---

---

The NHL Western Conference Preview

by Hockey Guru, Will-he-M and TD O'Dell


After spending all of our time debating the Eastern Conference, we barely have time to scratch the surface out West. Without further ado:


Anaheim (8) at San Jose (1)



Guru: Can't wait for this series. The good news is that it will assure us of doubleheaders, rather than all the games going early. It will be worth staying up late for, but Anaheim doesn't have the goaltending to match Nabokov. And Joe Thorton is a clutch playoff performer (you heard it here first! This will be the year that he proves to be Conn Smythe worthy). Prediction: San Jose advances.

Will: I don't know why but I'm not interested in this series. Anaheim has no business being here and they're going to show it. Sharks will go through this series quickly. Prediction: Sharks in 4.

TD: Somebody’s been eating MY porridge. I mean, this series isn’t too hard or too soft or too hot or too cold. It’s jusssst right. Or maybe this Sens fan simply wants to see the most graphic duck hunt possible – with sharks as the hunters. I guess the image of a shark devouring anything is cool, so a duck really isn’t the most graphically gruesome image imaginable (think shark vs. flame, or shark vs. lightning bolt). Nevertheless, these Ducks are as out-matched as the imagery would suggest. Prediction: San Jose in 5 games.


Columbus (7) at Detroit (2)



Guru: Steve Mason proves yet again that a rookie goalie can't win in the playoffs. Never happened before, won't happen now. Will can confirm this. The Habs have seen promising rookie goalies fall apart under the pressure of the playoffs. Rick Nash is scary good, but Detroit is loaded (except that goalie thing). Detroit can take it up a level, and will. Nash could be helping Team Canada soon. Prediction: Detroit moves on.

Will: A rookie goalie can't win in the playoffs? There are so many things wrong with that statement. Here's a free hockey lesson, Guru. These are the rookie goalies who have led their teams to the Finals, since 1950: Gerry McNeil (Mtl 1950-51), Jacques Plante (Mtl 1953-54), Glenn Hall (Det 1955-56), Don Simmons (Bos 1956-57), Roger Crozier (Det 1965-66, Won Conn Smythe), Ken Dryden (Mtl 1970-71, Won Cup & Conn Smythe), Pete Peters (Phl 1979-80), Andy Moog (Edm 1982-83), Patrick Roy (Mtl 1985-86, Won Cup & Conn Smythe), Mike Vernon (Cgy 1985-86), Ron Hextall (Phl 1986-87, Won Conn Smythe), Cam Ward (Car 2005-06, Won Cup & Conn Smythe). I digress. Now just when I was looking forward to the Jackets playing the Flames, they get passed in the standings. Steve Mason has been on fire all season, pretty much guaranteeing himself the Calder, and making a serious run at the Vezina. The Jackets have a superior man between the pipes and by the time Babcock realizes Osgood shouldn't be in there, the series will be over. Prediction: Jackets in 6.

TD: To be fair to all of the veteran goalies out there, a list of twelve rookies to make the Finals in almost 60 years (or almost 120 goalies in the Finals) might seem like a lot, but how big would the list of rookie goalies that didn’t make the Finals be? Working backwards, you’d have Rinne, Elliott, Quick, Ramo, and Danis. Then you’d have Price, MacDonald, Ellis….The point is, with 4-6 rookies each season, the odds that one of them makes the Finals isn’t that remote. Steve Mason will not be the 13th guy to do it this year, but that’s OK. He’ll do the next best thing. Prediction: Columbus in 6 games.


St. Louis (6) at Vancouver (3)



Guru: Great run St. Louis, (try not to take a step backwards next year), but Roberto Luongo and Mats Sundin will find a way to get Vancouver into Round 2.

Will: I am so keen for this series. The two hottest teams in the NHL going head-to-head. This one is going to be great. I'm not sold on Sundin, as he's been nothing more then a bust in Van-city, recording the worst season of his Hall of Fame career (he posted his worst ever points-per-game and goals-per-game totals). I’m damn glad that he chose not to go to Montreal, but I will admit that I wanted him on the Habs all summer. The only thing that'll keep the Canucks in this series is the phenomenal goaltending that Bobby Lu is sure to provide. I just can't see the Sedins being able to carry the team on their backs. Prediction: Blues in 7.

TD: Back at the All-Star Game, I pointed out to my Avs-lovin’ friends how tightly packed the West had become. They were all lamenting the fact that their team found themselves in 14th place, even after I reminded them of the incredible 1981 turnaround that their franchise had experienced in the second half. Still not impressed, I was forced to bring out the big guns. After Colorado had pulled off back-to-back victories against the two hottest teams at the time (Calgary and Dallas), I boldly offered to wager that the only team below the Avs would, in fact, sneak into 8th place. Whether they thought I wasn’t being serious or if they were concerned about what kind of odds they’d have to give me, the fact that nobody was willing to take my action came as a bit of a relief. Now, these same people refuse to admit that I called St. Louis to leapfrog over six Western teams in two months, when they actually passed 8 teams to grab the 6th seed. All this to say that I have been a big fan of the Blues since I was driving that wagon solo, but now I’m ringing the bell to disembark. Prediction: Vancouver in 5 games.


Calgary (5) at Chicago (4)



Guru: Calgary is not the team it was early in the year. Kiprusoff is not the goalie he was. Chicago is ready now to win. And will. (Way to go out on a limb and predict ZERO upsets in the West).

Will: This series is very reminiscent of the Pens-Sens series, from last year. On the one hand, you have a very young and solid group of players with 2 number one goalies. On the other hand, you have a struggling team since the Trade Deadline (8-11-0), who have an over-worked goalie. I just don't see the Flames being able to compete against the Hawks. Prediction: Hawks in 5.

TD: To those who remember my dust-up with Mother Puckers a few months ago, they can attest to my lack of patience. But how many of you remember the time I locked the Calgary Hitmen from posting messages, for his repeated attempts to get my goad via his insults of Denis Savard and his Hawks? If you can forgive yet another thinly-veiled, self-congratulatory blast from the past, you’ll afford me the opportunity to proclaim another of my early predictions, when I said a year and a half ago that the Hawks would compete for the Cup this Spring. Prediction: Blackhawks in 5 games.


So there you have it people. 24 predictions from the three biggest loudmouths you’ll meet in this league. We also made our picks for each of the subsequent Rounds, which I’ll post shortly. With almost half of the Game 1’s wrapped up as we speak, I thought I should publish this list right away. I have certainly never shied away from long essays, but mapping the layouts has been eating up all of my time this evening. I had hoped to have about ten articles up by now, but I guess I’ll just go ahead and post the Matchups for our pool before getting into the Official Rules, which have basically been laid out already. I just saw New Jersey score, but I assure you I had them all along, so don’t go saying that I only picked them after seeing Game 1. I’ve been wasting spending so much time on this site the past two hours, that I barely even saw any of the games. Now, I’m going to go have a smoke and catch the tail end of tonight’s action.

---

---

The NHL Eastern Conference Preview

by Hockey Guru, Will-he-M and TD O'Dell



I know that you’ve probably heard all this stuff before. Hell, you might even have read these exact words elsewhere. Nevertheless, DJ Tito O’Dell presents the 2009 Playoff Preview Mash Up (Eastside Club Mix). Enjoy.

Montreal (8) at Boston (1)

Hockey Guru: It’s deja vu all over again. The exact rematch of the #1-8 series from 2008, but in a Bizarro world, the Bruins are the one-seed, and Montreal the eight-seed. The odds will be overwhelmingly for the Bruins, but they have had a dream season with minimal adversity. They may be the Rodney Dangerfield of the 2008-09 season - they didn't get too much respect. The Bruins went through the season with playoff intensity, throughout. The Krejci-Ryder-Wheeler line was unbelievable, for a stretch during the season. Krejci was a Top 10 player for a month, but hasn't sniffed that level in some time. Ryder has a history of disappearing and Wheeler is a rookie that may have hit the wall. In my opinion, the Bruins don't have another level to which to raise their game, but their game is already at a high-level and may be enough to make a serious run. However, I'm not a believer. If the Habs were healthy on the blueline, they'd easily be my pick for the series. The "second season" gives them a chance to start over with a clean slate after a tumultuous season. So basically the Guru (I'm now writing in the 3rd person) calls this series a toss-up; a pick'em. If the Bruins get off to a good start and win their home games, and gain some confidence and swagger, it could be over in five. But, the Guru isn't afraid to look stupid (some would argue it comes naturally to him). The belief is that they may have false confidence, thinking that being the number one seed means something in itself, when it doesn't. If you're still reading this, I apologize. If, however, you are reading this because my wife is trying to have me committed, then I'll go voluntarily, if I can have the NHL package. Guru's prognostications are totally wrong, but hopefully they were more entertaining than the countless articles we'll be reading this week. Prediction: Bruins in 7 (this way, if Montreal wins, I can say that I knew it would be close) Prediction: Montreal.

Will-he-M: For the millionth time in NHL history, the Habs and Bruins meet. For some reason, it doesn't matter where Montreal finishes. 1st or 8th, they play the Bruins tough, and win. Remember 2002? Bruins finish 2nd overall in the NHL, meet the Habs, thinking cakewalk. What happens? Bruins lose in 6. Remember 2004? Bruins finish 4th in the NHL standings, play the lowly Habs again. They think they know what to do now. What happens? Bruins blow a 3-1 series lead and Habs move on while Joe Thornton again proves why he can't play in the Playoffs (0 points in 7 games). The Habs’ PP will be fine with young Yannick Weber and old Mathieu Schneider capitalizing on Boston's need to bully the Habs. (The Habs’ PP scored 3 times against the Bruins on Thursday). Last year the Bruins surprised the Habs, but come Game 7, Tim Thomas shat the bed, and Carey Price stood on his head. And with word that Andrei Markov will be ready by Game 1, that alone improves the Habs’ chances greatly. Prediction: Habs in 6.

TD O'Dell: You’re both wrong! Nah – jus’ kidding. I always wanted to say that in a format like this. It’s like we’re sitting beside each other on a panel, discussing this in real time. Cooool. Anyway, yes, these two teams have met a lot over the years. And yes the Habs have dominated. I’m not sure where Vegas has them, but I’d bet it’s somewhere close to “biggest long shot” to come out of Round 1. So who knows? Being a massive homer, I’m probably giving them too much credit, but I too see the Bruins faltering. Prediction: Canadiens in 7.

New York (7) at Washington (2)

Guru: Ovechkin on Broadway. Rangers have the goalie to win but may not have the players in front of the goalie. Capitals have the players to win but may not have the goalie to win. The Guru loves watching the Caps. Mike Green and these Russians named Alex are pretty good hockey players. If only a Russian were in net it would be easy to pick the Caps. The Rangers were boring hockey personified, but since the coaching change, they actually skate and fore check. This could be a wide-open series, with the clear edge in scoring to the Caps and the clear edge in goaltending to the Rangers. Conventional wisdom is that defense wins in the playoffs. Conventional wisdom is to draft your team and hold. Guru likes streaming. Guru likes offense. Guru likes Washington in the series. Prediction: Caps in 5 (I'll be bold here) .

Will: These teams are complete opposites. The Caps have two great forwards, one great defenceman and no goalie. Rangers have several under-achievers on offence and defence, and a goalie who is considered one of the best. This series will be a cakewalk for the Caps, but Lundqvist will give the appearance that the Rangers stood a chance. Prediction: Caps in 5.

TD: If you had asked me, I might have ranked cake waaaay down on the list of most desirable strolling surfaces. Not all the way down near hot coals or broken glass, and not even as low as a new gravel road in bare feet, but certainly below cold wet grass and even knee-high snow. With skates on, cakewalking can only get worse. Forget about Green, and his supposedly adequate defensive abilities, when your next best blue liner is a toss-up between Erskine, Pothier and Jeff Schultz, aren’t you depending a lot upon your goaltender? That’s not even mentioning the 17-18 minutes per game that Theodore will be helped by the tandem of Jurcina-Morrisonn. That said, the Rangers just don’t have the top-end talent to answer almost ten goals from Ovie. Prediction: Capitals in 6.

Carolina (6) at New Jersey (3)

Guru: Based on their histories, this would appear to be a trapping snore fest - a soccer game on ice. Au contraire mon frere, this is 2009 - and both teams have become more aggressive, finishing in the middle of the pack, in terms of goal scoring. Maybe the best thing about this series is it's a first round series and there'll be other games to watch. Seriously, this series seems to be of little interest and would only be rated as the 7th or 8th most interesting series in the 1st Round. But from low expectations, you can be pleasantly surprised. It's like fantasy drafts - sure you're happy with Eric Staal's season this year, but for a 2nd Rounder, you kind of expected it. On the other hand, you’re psyched for 45 goals from Zach Parise in the 5th Round. The Devils were written off before the season. When Brodeur went down, the book was closed. This team is like Jason in the horror movies - they don't go away. But the Guru predicts that Cam Ward will rival Marty Brodeur in this series and that Eric Staal and the Whaler-canes will advance.

Will: This series will be won by goaltending. The greatest of all time, versus the (thus far) one-year (playoff) wonder. I've bet on Brodeur before in the face of adversity and lost. He struggled, to end the season, and I see that continuing. Prediction: Canes in 7.

TD: I was beginning to get worried about the level of consensus in the room until now. I honestly don’t know what I would have said, had the two of you picked the Devils. I just might have abandoned my pick of the East to avoid agreeing with you guys a third time. Thank God that wasn’t necessary. I’m not discouraged by Fat Marty’s lacklustre play of late. The guy should have plenty in the tank after taking his first months-long vacation since he was 10 years old. Prediction: Devils in 4 straight.

Philadelphia (5) at Pittsburgh (4)

Guru: The re-match of the Eastern Conference Finals from a year ago. This time there is no guarantee that the winner gets to play for the Cup. Running out of gas, fingers bleeding, life calling - this one will be quick. The heart wants Pittsburgh, but the head tells me that Philly is going a long way this year. They have a beast of a team to play against for a series. Guru doesn't like going against his heart, but the head says Philly will prevail this time around.

Will: Flyers are vastly over-rated. I have no doubt that they have the forwards to compete, but I question their defence and goaltending. Outside of Timonen and Coburn, who's there? Randy Jones? Matt Carle? Ryan Parent? Andrew Alberts? Not exactly a frightening combination to play against. Biron? Please, the guy's had two mediocre seasons and one good playoff, as a Flyer. He'll crash and burn against the Pens. Prediction: Pens in 6.

TD: I’ll wrap this one up quick – something neither Pennsylvania team will be able to do. Prediction: Penguins in 7 games.



We’ll do a quick run-down of the Western Conference shortly, but we won’t have time to delve into things too deeply.

---

---