Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My Enormous Crystal Balls: NHL '09

I see....I see....I see wrongness


by Hockey Guru, Will-he-M and TD O'Dell


A couple of weeks ago, a few of us posted our predictions for this year's NHL playoffs.

I transferred those original paragraphs (which were first posted on the Hockey League's message board on April 12th), to the Baseball League's message board on April 13th (Msg # 211, 212, 213 & 214).

A short time later, I repackaged them and put them up here and here.

The problem was, I had omitted everyone's picks beyond Round 1 on both the Baseball League's Message Board, and on this site. My intention was to put them up a week ago, but I never got around to it. Anyhow, as long as we all witnessed the Opening Round picks, I don't see how a week's delay takes anything away from posting this now.


Hockey Guru

Conference Semi-Finals

So....round two matchups....hmmmm....

So....the Montreal Canadiens versus the Washington Capitals....hmmmm....Montreal?

Philly? Carolina? Uhhhh....PHILLY!! [to be read using the voice of South Park's Timmy!]

Chicago visits San Jose, now here's a series I can write about. San Jose has been in Chicago's position before and come up short, but this time they feel they are ready. San Jose, however, is wrong in thinking that losing many, many playoff series makes a team better - it doesn't, it only makes you older. Chicago pulls off the upset to reach the Western Conference Finals.

Vancouver at Detroit is another good one. The safe bet is to say that Detroit is Detroit, and will always find a way to win. I really can't see Vancouver going much further, but Vancouver does win this series.


Conference Finals

Philly? Montreal? Uhhhh....PHILLY!! [c'mon, you knew that was gonna be the pick]

Chicago goes up to Vancouver. Chicago is crazy and the Bulin Wall is rebuilt. The Swedish attack on the Wall won't bring it down, and Chicago gets to the Finals.


Stanley Cup Finals

Blah, blah, blah....I really can't see a Chicago / Philly Finals, but whatever. I am going to bet Philly to win the Cup (the odds should be pretty good).

Hockey Guru
BostonSan Jose
MontrealSan Jose
MontrealAnaheim
MontrealChicago
Chicago
WashingtonChicago
WashingtonChicago
New YorkCalgary
Cup Champs
Philadelphia
New JerseyDetroit
CarolinaDetroit
CarolinaColumbus
Philadelphia
PhiladelphiaVancouver
PittsburghVancouver
PhiladelphiaVancouver
PhildelphiaSt.Louis
April 12, 2009



Will-he-M

Conference Semi-Finals

Caps vs Habs: The Habs have better depth on defence and in goal. Ovechkin and Semin haven't played in the high pressure zone that is Montreal. They'll be hard pressed to perform in this series. Prediction: Habs in 6

Pens vs Canes: I'm not liking this series. Too many unpredictable elements involved. On one hand, you have two NHL superstars who lead a team that isn't as good as last year's Finalists, yet shouldn't be taken too lightly. On the other hand, you have a team made up of a mix of rising stars, misfits and aging veterans. In my honest opinion, this series will be determined by how the secondary scoring holds up. I'm not sold on Kunitz and Guerin. Prediction: Canes in 7

San Jose vs Columbus: This match up will be another solid series. Two very talented teams. Prediction: Sharks in 6

Chicago vs St.Louis: The Blues will definitely bow out to the superior Hawks' attack. I will be looking forward to this series. Prediction: Hawks in 6


Conference Finals

Canes vs Habs: I don't like my Habs playing the Canes here, for a simple reason: his name is Erik Cole. He is the new John LeClair - a Habs-killer. He owns the Habs, which is why I was praying that the Bruins wouldn't get him at the deadline. However, the Habs have been battling adversity all season. At one point, they didn't have Alex Tanguay, Carey Price, Robert Lang and Saku Koivu for an entire month long stretch and they still made the playoffs. I know it in my heart, that they'll beat the Canes here. And unlike my friend, the Hockey Guru, I follow my heart instead of my head. Prediction: Habs in 6

San Jose vs Chicago: The Hawks will be in tough. This will be the series that proves whether or not the Sharks are true Cup contenders. Personally, I'd like to think the Sharks can compete but for some reason I have this nagging feeling Brian Campbell is going to earn his high end salary in this series. Prediction: Hawks in 7


Stanley Cup Finals

Chicago Blackhawks vs Montreal Canadiens: My dream Cup Final. An Original Six matchup for the first time since the Habs / Rangers Final in '79. Two of the brightest young forwards in the NHL against the brightest young goalie in the world. I will be looking forward to this come May / June. Prediction: I gotta go with the name of every fantasy team I created this year. Your 2009 Cup Champions and 25-time Cup winners. LES CANADIENS DE MONTREAL.

Will-he-M
BostonSan Jose
MontrealSan Jose
MontrealAnaheim
MontrealSan Jose
Montreal
WashingtonDetroit
WashingtonColumbus
New YorkColumbus
Cup Champs
Montreal
New JerseyCalgary
CarolinaChicago
CarolinaChicago
Chicago
CarolinaChicago
PittsburghVancouver
PittsburghSt.Louis
PhildelphiaSt.Louis
April 12, 2009


TD O'Dell

Conference Semi-Finals

Mr. Gainey goes to Washington. The feel-good story of an idealist whose perception of reality is challenged when he is confronted with the well-oiled D.C. machine that is Capitals hockey (OK, so not so much a feel-good story, as a Shakespearean tragedy). Prediction: Washington in 5 games.

If I were to somehow continue in this vein, and relate the other three series' to classic films, I'd compare the Pens going to Jersey to a variation on Goodfellas, but with the opening title sequence from the Sopranos:

[cut to Sidney Crosby climbing into his Cadillac Escalade SUV for the long drive into New Jersey]

You woke up this morning
Got yourself some gum
Mama always said you'd be
The Chosen One

She said you're one in a million
You've got to skate to shine
But you were born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes

You woke up this morning
This work is so much fun
Your Papa never told you
About how to get it done

But you're looking good baby
I believe you're feeling fine (shame about it)
Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes

You woke up this morning
The world turned upside down
Thing's ain't been the same
Since the Blues walked into town

But you're one in a million
You've got that shotgun shine
Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes

Woke up this morning
Got yourself some gum
Got yourself some gum [end opening credits]

Forgive my non-existant shopping skills

[cut to montage, with voice-over narration by Penguins co-owner, Ron Burkle]

"Man, back then, we lived like kings. These are the guys Craig Patrick put together for what turned out to be the biggest heist in American history - the Sidney Crosby draft lottery.

Tommy and Carbone would grab the guard and make him get us in the front door.

Young Frenchy and Jon "Buddha" Sim had to round up the workers.

Johnny Roastbeef had to keep them tied up and away from the alarms.

Even Brooks Orpik got in on it. He used to play guitar at the lounge. Everybody loved Brooks. Anyway, he was supposed to steal the van and afterwards compact it by a friend of ours in Jersey.

Everything was going along fine, only Mario was driving us nuts. Just because he set this up, he bugged Craig for an advance on the money we would later earn. He didn't mean anything by it. That's just the way he was.

I had everyone working for me. Even one of my old B-boys, from when I managed the Fat Boys, got in on the action."


[cut to Int. Burkle household, as P Diddy is retrieving compromising photos of Bettman, hidden in his portable baby carseat]

Burkle: "Have a good flight?"

P Diddy: "I hate Pittsburgh. Where'd you find such creeps?"

Burkle: "They're not that bad. And it's worth it. Is this the same baby
you used last week?"

P Diddy: "No, that was my sister's. This is Deirdra's."

Burkle: "She looks like you."

P Diddy: "That's what the stewardess said."

[camera pans over 8 X 10 glossy of a leather-clad Bettman and Bill Daly, in an unflattering S&M pose]
[fade to white, with The Rolling Stones' Starfucker playing over top of closing credits]

Ummmm....what was I talking about, again? Oh yeah, hockey. Prediction: Penguins in 6 games.

Columbus voyages west, into Shark-infested territory. I guess this was a movie, also. Meh. Suffice it to say, Nash bridges the gap between those old crummy BJ's that I was used to, and this new sensation. Too bad no man can achieve BJ success on his own. Prediction: Sharks in 5 games.

The Hawks take flight for more Northerly climes, heading towards Vancouver. This peculiar 7-year migration cycle has many Illinois birders recalling the last truly great event from 14 years ago. Unfortunately, this year's edition is lacking in the 150-point man department, which is what it would take to solve Luongo often enough. Prediction: Canucks in 5 games.


Conference Finals

The storylines have all been written already for the tag-team showdown between Sid and Geno, and Ovie and Semin. The inevitable comparisons will be drawn to the recently eliminated Patrick Kane. The pre-ASG feud will reignite between the future Team Russia linemates. The duelling banjo accusations of diving and showboating will fly.

Or maybe the guys will simply choose to march to the beat of a different drummer.

Either way, this will possibly become the most anticipated series since a young Gretzky took on the powerhouse Islanders. Prediction: Pittsburgh in 6 games.

Is the Canucks' season headed into the Tank? I'd bet on it. Almost as confidently as I would bet on Vancouver prevailing. Prediction: Nucks in 6 games.

Conference Finals

Flightless birds sighted on the B.C. coast. Further proof of the effects of global climate change? No. Just another ending to a long, disappointing season for the Pens. Prediction: Vancouver in 6 games.

TD O'Dell
BostonVancouver
MontrealVancouver
MontrealSt.Louis
MontrealVancouver
Vancouver
WashingtonChicago
WashingtonChicago
New YorkCalgary
Cup Champs
Vancouver
New JerseySan Jose
New JerseySan Jose
CarolinaAnaheim
Pittsburgh
PittsburghSan Jose
PittsburghDetroit
PittsburghColumbus
PhildelphiaColumbus
April 12, 2009



2 comments:

  1. Now in the midst of the first Stanley Cup Finals in a number of years that is clearly undecided through the first four games - it's time for the Hockey Guru to post a few comments/random thoughts:


    * Is there really justice in the NHL? The suspension issues mentioned before show consistent inconsistency - that is suspensions are given and taken in a bizarre manner.

    While in agreement with overturning Malkin's suspension - how was Lucic's suspension justifiable?

    Moreso, how could Scott Walker not only avoid suspension - but avoid an automatic suspension requiring the league to overturn it when Lucic was suspended?

    It's foolish.

    The Stanley Cup Finals may be teaching a lesson to the league offices - let the players sort things out. The more the off ice officials back away - the more the game takes care of itself.

    The on ice officiating has been great. Not calling every ticky-tack "interference..." allows the game to get some flow and not evolve into half-court basketball (alternating powerplays rather than alternating possessions).

    In game 4 - after Staal's shortie - The Igloo (until a certain bank adds money to TD O'Dell's coiffeurs - it will remain the Igloo) - was ROCKING and play was fast and frantic.

    I made the comment that someone was going to score - could have easily been Detroit - but play opened up and culminated in Sid's goal.

    The action in this final series has been great - and unfortunately - there are limited games left.

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  2. PART TWO - (Too much to fit in one post...)

    * "How Quickly We Forget"

    It's amazing how the last impression we get sticks with us.

    Going into the playoffs - Chris Osgood looked like an obvious imperfection in Detroit's Machine. It was like the hot chick at the bar - with a nose like Gonzo from the Muppets - so close to perfection - but just wasn't going to work out right.

    Osgood was a glaring problem to experts like me in Detroit's attempted Cup run this year. And not subtely like Seinfeld's issue with "Man Hands".

    But as the Wings rolled into the Cup and through games 1 & 2 - we changed our tune - "Osgood is the most underappreciated goalie..." "Ozzie is the greates clutch goalie..."

    Further issues - that after games 1 & 2 - which could have clearly gone either way (a couple posts, a covered puck in the crease called for a penalty shot, a different bounce off the end boards - and this series could've been a Pittsburgh sweep)... after those two games - all the experts, this Guru included (note the capital G - someone's a little full of themselves) - were saying:

    "Detroit is simply awesome - this is over...there's no way Pittsburgh or anyone could win 4 of 5 from Detroit...too bad for hockey - this had the makings of a great series...imagine that Detroit is doing this without Datsyuk..."

    It was OVER.

    Then, a tremendous second period effort by Fleury and Pittsburgh found themselves tied up midway through the third period in game 3.

    Capitalizing on their powerplay - Pittsburgh pulls out game 3 - maybe, MAYBE the experts felt this could become a series.

    After a second consecutive 4-2 victory - Pittsburgh squares the series. Now all the experts jump from one band wagon to the other

    "Detroit is just getting old...Pittsburgh has all the momentum now...Osgood is vulnerable..."

    Well - let the Guru re-align his thoughts...

    Pittsburgh was down 2-0 to Washington - and roared back to a 3-2 lead and eventually blew Washington out in game 7.

    Pittsburgh seems healthy - particularly up front. I LOVE what Dan Bylsma is doing playing Crosby and Malkin a ton. (Something the Bruins failed to do - as their goal was to simply roll 4 lines - no matter what - in case the series when 17 overtimes...) This is the opportunity for these players to seize the moment.

    With Malkin and/or Crosby on the ice 2/3rds of the game - there is constant pressure applied to the opponent.

    Detroit has focused so much on the matchups and awareness of those two - that they've lost a bit of focus on their own game.

    They've become reactive - and Pittsburgh is being proactive.

    That's the difference in the series right now.

    Going into this best of 3 for the hardest trophy in all of sports to win - here's my current breakdown:

    * Crosby and Malkin are close and they want it WAY more than anyone on Detroit.

    Detroit has drinken from the Cup a lot and can't match the drive the leaders of Pittsburgh have right now.

    * Fleury is more able to steal a game than Osgood at this point. Although, we've learned never to write Ozzie off - this seems a pretty clear advantage for Fleury.

    The Guru is leaning toward Pittsburgh (of course, his rooting interest in this series has been there all along - and he may be getting carried away with the short memory syndrome).

    ++++++++++++++++

    Pavel Datsyuk is a wild card - what kind of impact will he bring tonight?

    Will the home ice - line matching ability - make it easier for Detroit to get the matchups they want and focus on their own game more?

    Which way will the puck bounce tonight?

    Aren't we do for an overtime in this series soon?


    The schedule from here on may favor Detroit a bit - with the multiple days off between games the rest of the way...

    Peace to all those who read this posting - your comments, reactions and criticisms are wanted!

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